Midnight RamblingsMonday, May 25, 2015
Here I sit at my computer...staring at my blog...a little after midnight. A scene I'm used to since I often work on my blog at night. But there are plenty of days that I sit at my computer and stare at a blank entry and think about what I had in mind for this little piece of internet space and how I haven't had the courage to do it yet.
I named the blog "Pieces of Me" because my original intention was for this to be a platform that I could speak on things that have happened in my life. To maybe help someone else who has gone through or is going through similar situations, or maybe to just open someone's eyes to a different way of seeing some topics that are less talked about.
I started out well with opening up about being intuitive and started to explain a few of the different ways this can show up in people....but stopped before I got to the more important and dominant "clairs" for me. That topic was supposed to be the "ice breaker" for me to then talk about the more difficult aspects of my life that I have been holding onto since childhood. Many people I've known throughout my life, don't really know me and that's because I just don't talk about a large portion of my past. It's sad that society hushes certain topics or that it's socially unacceptable to talk about things. Or that people have to worry about being judged or looked at differently for things that are not their fault.
With this blog, I had wanted to open the lines of communication- to be someone that others going through similar situations could read this and find solace in the fact that someone else knows what it's like- or to change someone's mind who had made their own opinions without having any real information. But I haven't because it's very hard for me to open myself up and talk about things. But that was exactly the point of making this blog in the first place. I think it's sad that I'm almost 32 and have gone through life without letting people really get to know me. I feel it's wrong that society says certain topics shouldn't be talked about, or should only be "whispered"...but as much as I feel that way, I am also afraid to open up. Not just to the world, but more so to friends and acquaintances who find this blog through my FaceBook page.
I have a lot of topics that I could speak on- such as living through sexual/emotional abuse from living with a horrible person growing up, having zero privacy in my home because I was secretly watched and spied on, having dealt with infertility in my relationship as an adult, having become a surrogate, miscarriage, my mother dying of cancer...I have had experiences with all of these situations and then some. I feel like I have come out a stronger person. Someone who is always fairly optimistic and happy. People who know me, probably aren't aware that most of these things have happened in my life....but they are all bits and pieces of my life who make up who I am today.
So one day, you may come to my blog and see entries on topics such as this. I know that right now, I mostly use it for my monthly Stitch Fix updates- and while I enjoy doing those entries and will continue to do so- one day I will get up the courage and figure out how to put my thoughts down on the above topics. If anyone would be particularly interested in reading about any of these topics, you can let me know through message at firstname.lastname@example.org. It might give me the kick I need to write these entries sooner rather than later...